Oh What a NIght!

“Oh what a night…” so the song goes and the same could be said for last night’s tournament. All the big guns were there strutting their stuff and hoping for glory. There were old hands and new comers alike all vying for the strongly coveted title of Monthly Champion.

An audible gasp could be heard as far away as O’Donovans Hotel as The Klingon was pitted against The Persian Tiger and drew a large crowd of onlookers and a very loud “meow” could be heard as The Klingon was taken out 4-0.

Chris AKA The Quiet Man was beaten by DJ Mike 3-2 in a marathon display of “Anything Goes” style of Backgammon.

First timer Vinny the Viking lost his “Berserker” reputation when Bev “DFWM” Cotton de-horned him 3-1.

Frank “The Tank” the eleven year old child prodigy was hoping to blast Bev “DFWM” Cotton but sadly fell to him 3-1 after getting a bye from the first round.

New comers “GI” Joe and “Big Bad John” went head to head with GI Joe coming out on top by being bigger and badder with a score of 3-1.

An audible silence fell on the stadium as The Persian Tiger’s fellow Persian Mossy the Persian humiliated The Tiger with a crushing 4-0 victory, the tournament was now wide open to all the survivors of the previous rounds.

The Body knee capped DJ Mike with an 8-0 trouncing that was going to put The Body into the next round with “The Man Who Beat The Tiger”, Mossy the Persian. Was the Persian back on form? He proudly announced that from now on he wanted to be known as The Persian Tiger Killer, sorry Persian but you will have to wait until after the tournament. The tension was almost unbearable, it was like the film “300” but better, well, a bit better any way.

The Semi-final saw Bev “DFWM” Cotton against GI Joe and The Body against Mossy The Persian. GI Joe went out quickly to Bev “DFWM” Cotton 3-1 then it was the turn of Mossy The Persian to bow out to The Body with a staggering 3-0 defeat that had the crowd on their feet.

Now it was the Grand Final against these two rivals, Bev “DFWM” Cotton & The Body. A hush fell over the stadium as these two veterans of Backgammon squared off against each other in what was tipped as a re-play of a previous final between the two. It looked to be all over when The Body went ahead 2-0 in what appeared to be a very short time but Bev “DFWM” Cotton immediately replied with a point coming from nowhere to make it 2-1, then using his very unorthodox style of play Bev “DFWM” Cotton made it 2-2. The crowd went wild, women were fainting, children and grown men were openly weeping and blood flowed freely through the streets although no one actually knew where the blood came from, it was probably a pint of raspberry cordial that got spilt. It went right down to the wire in the final point as the game flowed one way and then the other, both players in the lead one minute then losing the next. Spectators were trying to touch the players, hoping that just a little of their godliness would rub off on them and it took all the efforts of the security staff and the Secret Service to keep them back and suddenly, from out of nowhere Bev “DFWM” Cotton threw the final dice and it was over. For the second time The Body was crushed by Bev “DFWM” Cotton in a match that is probably going to be used in Backgammon text books all over the world.

In a surprisingly upbeat statement The Body said “I know he can be beaten, he’s not as good as people say, it was pure luck, he may be the big bright star in the sky at the moment but watch this space, he will go down, he will go down hard trust me”.

Asked for a reaction to The Body’s statement, Bev “DFWM” Cotton said “I admit it was a lucky win.  The more I play The Body, the luckier I get".

High drama at 2014's first monthly tournament

The start of the new Backgammon season was expected to be good but no one was prepared for what happened on Wednesday 29th January 2014. For the first time in backgammon history all the previous winners came together in what can only be described as the OK Corral shootout of the Backgammon world, the nuclear war of Backgammon, backgammons Vietnam, there was going to be blood, lots of it.

Persian Tiger growls

“The Body” was the first to appear when the music started followed by the “Klingon” back from injury, and then came the “Persian Tiger” and “The Persian”, Vic “The Bull” Sprake was followed by “DJ Mike” and Chris AKA “The Quiet Man”. There was a lot of nervous anticipation as the players and fans waited for the current champion Bev “DFWM” Cotton, the holder of the trophy from last year. Time was creeping by as the deadline for entry was drawing near and still no sign of “DFWM”.

Just as everyone thought “DFWM” was not turning up, the doors to the stadium were flung open and in he breezed flaunting his trophy as if it had always belonged to him. Just as the tournament was about to start there was an audible gasp as Dominic “The Demon Prince” broke wind, gulped down his first pint and brashly declared that he was here to do battle with the best we had to throw at him.

Battle commenced in earnest when “The Persian”, who was the first ever winner of this prestigious tournament, fell to “DFWM” 3-2 in a tense match that could have gone either way. “The Klingon” was in his usual aggressive form when showed no mercy to “The Quiet Man” when he beat him 4-0 with an impressive Gammon. Next to fall was “DJ Mike” who really hasn’t found his form yet when “The Bull” dispatched him 3-1.

“The Persian Tiger” showed his claws were still sharp when “The Body”, who has never really recovered from his humiliation from “DFWM” fell convincingly 3-0. After a series of confusing bye’s in this Mongolian Rules Backgammon contest, “The Demon Prince” took down “The Quiet Man” 3-0 with a series of body blows.

In the next round you could have heard a pin drop as “The Klingon” took out last year’s champion, “DFWM”, 5-1 despite the fact that “The Klingon” apparently still hadn’t recovered fully from his broken nail injury. It was then the turn of “The Bull” to fall to “The Persian Tiger” 3-0 despite his usual cavalier style that has earned him his fearsome reputation, it seemed like there was no stopping “The Persian Tiger” as he clawed his way through the opposition. “The Demon Prince” then kicked “The Body” mercilessly while he was down by annihilating him 3-1. There were whispers that this could be the end of “The Body’s” lucrative Backgammon career as he was last seen drinking methylated spirits wrapped in a brown paper bag to hide his humiliation.

“The Klingon” then met “The Persian Tiger” in the semi-finals, the crowd started chanting their various chants in support of their chosen favourite. “The Persian Tiger” drew first blood and would not let up as he took the next point. The crowd started singing “The Fields of Athenry” when the third and final point was won by “The Persian Tiger” to leave “The Klingon” weeping openly with disbelief at his 3-0 defeat.

In the other semi-final “The Demon Prince” openly mocked “DJ Mike” as he savaged him 3-0 to take himself into the final against “The Persian Tiger”. The capacity crowd were taking side bets and observers were astounded at the amounts that were wagered, fortunes were going to be made and lost depending on whose side you backed.

After only a short time into the first point “The Demon Prince” surprisingly offered the cube and “The Persian Tiger” quickly accepted which is his style but with an audible snarl and a lap of milk, “The Persian Tiger” lived up to his name and reputation. In a tight game “The Demon Prince” went 4-0 down after “The Persian Tiger won a gammon “The Demon Prince” had finally succumbed to “The Persian Tiger’s” animal instincts.

Surprisingly, fights broke out in the stands as the various factions declared war on each other in scenes that were reminiscent of a chess tournament and not the civilised society that is the backgammon world. As order was quickly restored by the riot police supported by the military “The Persian Tiger” was presented with the spoils of his own war against the opposition and in a bold statement that reminded everyone of the scene in the film Troy starring Brad Pitt he screamed “Is there no one? Is there no one else”?

Pundits and commentators around the world are asking each other is this the way Backgammon is going now and is there really no one to stop the Genghis Khan of Backgammon from ruling the world as we know it, only time will tell.

Christmas Party 2013!

Even the greatest minds in backgammon need a break from time to time.  Unfortunately they weren't able to come, but the rest had a brilliant evening thanks to food ordered by Rachel and prepared by Mick Finn's, and a lateral thinking quiz prepared and hosted by none other than Club Chair Phil.

If you find yourself invited next year, just say yes!

Many Happy wishes for 2014 from all at Clonakilty Backgammon Club.

Surpise Win Shocks Club

The prediction was that the last tournament of the Clonakilty Backgammon
season was going to be a memorable one and the spectators were not
disappointed at all.

Every one was in a state of shock when the two hot favourites weren’t there.
The Klingon failed to appear again as speculation was rife as to his
absence, had he lost his touch, was he afraid, what was it? Only The Klingon
knows the truth. The Persian Tiger was also missing some say he was still
on a drinking binge after beating The Body in last month’s final.

First blood was spilt early when The Blond Bombshell was crushed 3 – 0 by
the Body despite fluttering her eyelashes on a number of occasions.

New hopeful John, AKA City Slicker was taken out by Bev “Don’t F**k with me”
Cotton 3 – 1 displaying his new aggressive style (rumour has it that he has
been coached in private by The Persian Tiger).

Next to fall was Mark AKA “Rab C” who fell to Vic “The Bull” Sprake in a
close match that finished 3 – 2. DJ Mike, who has yet to find his form, beat
William AKA “Billy the Kid” in a marathon 3 – 1 match.
Tension mounted as The Body humiliated DJ Mike in very convincing style with
a 3 – 0 defeat when DJ Mike took a very suspect double.
In a match that is the stuff of legends Bev “Don’t F**k with me” Cotton beat
Vic “The Bull” Sprake in a very close 3 – 2 match that everyone was sure The
Bull would win but yet again Bev “Don’t F**k with me” Cotton displayed his
new aggressive style of play in a match that nearly went on into the next
day.

It was decided by the tournament director that the final between Bev “Don’t
F**k with me” Cotton and The Body would be played the following day as a 5
point match.

When The Body and Bev “Don’t F**k with me” Cotton came together at 1:30 the
next day the crowd had gathered and were expecting something special to
happen and they weren’t disappointed Bev “Don’t F**k with me” Cotton went 2
– 0 up very quickly but

The Body came back to make it 2 – 2, it then went to
3 – 2 to Bev “Don’t F**k with me” Cotton then 3 – 4 to The Body, the crowd
was in uproar. It looked like it would be all over when Bev “Don’t F**k
with me” Cotton offered The Body the double and a loud gasp could be heard
when The Body arrogantly accepted it much to every one’s surprise it was
then that Bev “Don’t F**k with me” Cotton turned on the new magic and
devastated The Body by beating him 5 – 4.

The Body tried to be cool about the whole match but an audible quiver in his
voice told a different story. Some say The Body will never recover from this
defeat others say Bev “Don’t F**k with me” Cotton’s win was just a flash in
the pan, who knows what 2014 will bring, what we do know is that the world
of Backgammon is waiting for 2014 with baited breath.

Club Championship 30th October

You could have cut the atmosphere with a knife, friendships were strained and family’s split in this hard fought tournament.

 

A tense final

The usual suspects were triumphant, Bev “Don’t F**k With Me” Cotton went out early 3 – 0 to one of the heroes of the Irish Open Nicky AKA “The Persian Tiger”, the flamboyant Vic “The Bull” Sprake defeated Mossy “The Persian” in a hard fought battle 3 – 2 and “DJ” Mike went out to last month’s champion Philip “The Body” Newton 3 – 0.

One of the big surprises of the tournament was when young hopeful “Fearsome” Fion went out 3 – 2 to a newcomer to the Clonakilty Backgammon circuit William AKA “Billy the Kid” In the semi-final “The Bull” was savaged by “The Tiger” 3 – 1 and “Billy the Kids” reign of terror ended 3 – 2 at the hands of “The Body”.
The final was a tense affair when “The Body” took an early lead with a performance that showed “The Tiger” why he was last months champion but “The Tiger” was just waiting to spring his trap and what a trap, with a series of lucky dice throws and regular taunting he won point after point to demoralise “The Body” with a 3 – 1 defeat.

Some said that “The Body” was crying at his humiliation others said that he just had a speck of dust in his eye who knows what the truth is, one thing is for certain, once “The Klingon” comes out of hiding and repairs his broken nail and faces his nemesis “The Tiger” blood will flow, no quarter will be asked and none given. So come on “Klingon” put down your knitting, put on your cardigan and embrace your destiny.